Are you busy?

     

     Wow, have I been busy lately?!?!  Whew!  But it's the kind of busy where you don't really "accomplish" anything, ya know? Haha!  I was thinking about this yesterday as I had a long conversation with myself...  Man, I've been busy!   Church, life group, worship, Bible study twice a week, daily reading plan, prayer, devotions, not to mention the cooking and cleaning and raising of the children....  Just a lot of things happening right now, which for me is great. I prefer to be busy. I prefer not to be idle. I enjoy being involved with the church and progressing in my spiritual growth. But as I pondered my busyness, I began to compare the difference in being busy and being productive.

     Busyness does not guarantee productivity. We can spend all day going, going, going and not really get anything done.  The same can be said for our spiritual walk. We can go to church every time the doors open and we can volunteer for every need and we can go to group study sessions... but without that one on one relationship with God, what are we really accomplishing?

     I recently read an article aimed at Pastors, but this one part really stuck out at me:
"We also need to make prayer and Bible reading a major function of our daily discipline. Spiritual health is not birthed out of busyness for God but by creating space in the soul to hear from God and talk to God. "
~http://thegospelcoalition.org/article/pastors-you-make-your-own-sandwich

     That is so true. We need that quality time with our Father. Not "quantity" time being seen and heard.  I am reminded of the scripture that says:  "Slaves, in all things obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord." ~Colossians 3:22

     This passage in context is spoken in reference to obeying earthly masters... Shouldn't it be that way even more so in our serving the Lord? Shouldn't we do things out of the sincerity of our hearts, not to please men or gain their approval? This is not to say that we should not be involved or participate in such activities as church functions or group studies, etc. But, I believe that we should be doing ALL things to honor God and to please HIM.  If we are doing things with the wrong motives or intentions, what will we gain? How will we develop in Christ?

     For me, personally, I enjoy being with Christ-centered people. I have a passion for music. I love to learn. I desire wholesome conversation. That is why I like to involve myself in various activities. I know that I could be doing much worse things with my time, that's for sure. I don't want to be like the old me. I want to be transformed. I want to be spiritually healthy. But I also know that I need to be productive in my activities. I need to be an example. I need to bring others to Christ. I need to talk to God and nurture my relationship with Him before any other.  It is important that we do not become so busy in our activities that our relationship with God becomes stagnant.

     

Pray?

    

      I am going to take this time to allow myself to be vulnerable and open with my most recent thoughts and emotions. I welcome feedback, instruction, insight, and even correction.

     The thing that I seem to be struggling with lately is prayer. I am going through this "phase" where I wonder HOW I should be praying or WHAT I should be praying for, or even WHY...

     It's like this: God knows everything. He knows my heart. He knows what I seek. So, why should I ask for things? Also, I feel like "Who am I?" to be asking things of God? I feel so meaningless in the great big scheme of things. And just how effective is prayer? It's not a magic wand. God already knows the outcome. It's kind of like a "What's the point?" thing. I know that I need to pray, and I still do. Yet, I wonder if it is effective. We have been discussing James 1 in Bible Study on TeamSpeak3 and it speaks to praying with unwavering faith, praying without doubt, and I don't think that I have doubts in prayer, but then again I can't say that with any amount of certainty, so there is something I have doubts about...

     Ok, example:   A couple of weeks ago Carter, my son, had a fever. He has had seizures associated with fever in the past. On that Wednesday night, I specifically prayed for him to not have another seizure. On Thursday morning I awoke to the terrifying sound of him gasping for breath, and opened my eyes to him convulsing with his eyes rolled back in his head, foaming at the mouth, his lips turning blue. 

     No, I don't "blame" God. No, I am not angry that I didn't "get what I asked for". But I do wonder, how effective is prayer? And if He already had a plan and knows how things will happen (and I do NOT question His plan) what does it matter if I ask for something? I asked and He said "No". Ok. I get it, it was part of His plan. "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." ~Romans 8:28

     But, was my prayer the night before just a waste of breath? Was I doubting? Was I asking outside the will of God? I know that I am supposed to ask in faith, believing that I will receive.(Mark 11:24)  I know I need to pray about everything (Phil 4:6) and pray without ceasing (1 Thess 5:17)  I know God answers prayer (and sometimes the answer is yes, no, or not yet.)

     I know that He is the Father and I am His daughter and He wants to hear from me and have a relationship with me. And I know that I can approach the throne with boldness... But for some reason I still feel.... discouraged. 

I will continue to pray, to talk to God. I will try my best the only way I know how. But I would love some insight on how you feel about prayer, how you should pray, what you should pray for, how you stay encouraged through prayer, etc.  And, like I said at the beginning, I believe this is a "phase" and is more about me in my emotions and living inside my own head more than anything. I obviously have some things I need to sort out.... Ok, see there I go again, trying to take control away from God. Trying to place all the weight on my shoulders, when He loves me and will help me. So let me say, there are obviously some things that God is still working on in me.